Charlie Sheen quotes

"The only thing I'm addicted to right now is winning."

"I'm so tired of pretending like my life isn't just perfect and just winning every second, and I'm not just perfect and b**chin' and just delivering the goods at every frickin' turn."

"Most of the time, and this includes naps, I'm an F-18, bro, and I will destroy you in the air. I will deploy my ordinance to the ground."

"There's my life. Deal with it. Oh, wait, can't process it? Losers!"

"Winning!"

"If you're a part of my family, I will love you violently. If you infiltrate and try to hurt my family, I will murder you violently."

"I was banging seven gram rocks and finishing them because that's how I roll."

"I'm dealing with fools and trolls. I'm dealing with soft targets and it's just strafing runs in my underwear before my first cup of coffee. They lay down with their ugly wives and their ugly children and just look at their loser lives and then they look at me and say 'I can't process it'."

“Oh, that. I just do that for the extra money, and to satisfy my male need to kill and win.”

"I will not believe that if I do something then I have to follow a certain path because it was written for normal people, people who aren't special, people who don't have tiger blood and Adonis DNA."

"People are mystified by this odyssey that refuses to quit calling itself Charlie Sheen."

"I wouldn't recommend five at once, there's just not enough guy to go around."

"I dare anyone to debate me on things."

"Blame the studio for giving me this much dough knowing who they were giving it to."

"I am on a drug. It's called Charlie Sheen. It's not available because if you try it once you will die. Your face will melt off and your children will weep over your exploded body. It's too much."

"If they want me in it, it's a smash; if they don't, it's a turd that opens on a tugboat."

(On Apocalypse Now) "There's not much you can say other than genius ... represents life. Apocalypse will teach you how to live inside of a moment between a moment, and that's where life is because, you know, I'm not just Captain Willard, I'm not just my dad heading up the river to kill another part of me, which is Kurtz, I'm every character in between. Save for that little weirdo with his guts strapped in, begging for water. That's not me."

"I don't know, winning, anyone? Rhymes with winning? Yeah, that would be us."

"I'm not bipolar, I'm bi-winning. I win here and I win there."

"I'm tired of pretending I'm not special. I'm tired of pretending I'm not a total b**chin' rock star from Mars."

"Of course you're gnarly. You're talking to me."

"If at first you don't succeed, try, try again. If at first you succeed, then what?"

"I try to be known more for my work than for anything else."

"I got tiger blood, man. My brain fires in a way that is, I don't know, maybe not from this particular terrestrial realm."

"People can't figure me out, they can't process me. I don't expect them to. You can't process me with a normal brain."

"Let's hook up and just bring fiery death!"

"Clearly I have defeated this earthworm with my words. Imagine what I would have done with my fire breathing fists."

"I will outlive you! I will p**s you off!"

"I'm proud of what I created. It was radical. I exposed people to magic. I exposed them to something they're never going to see in their boring, normal lives."

"I've spent, I think, close to the last decade effortlessly and magically converting your tin cans into pure gold."

"I have cleansed myself. I closed my eyes and, in a nanosecond, I cured myself."

"It's been a tsunami, and I've been riding it on a mercury surfboard."

"Life all comes down to a few moments. This is one of them."

"Can't is the cancer of happen."

"It's about winning. Sorry."

"Let's talk about something exciting. Me."

"I'm done. It's on. Bring it."

"Newsflash: I am special, and I will never be one of you!"

"The last time I used? What do you mean? I used my toaster this morning."

"I have one speed. I have one gear. Go."

"You should have read the directions before you showed up at the party."

"I have a disease? Bulls**t. I cured it with my brain."

"That's how I roll, and if it's too gnarly for people, then buh-bye."

“We’re Vatican assassins. How complicated can it be?”

"Defeat is not an option. They picked a fight with a warlock."

"Everybody thinks I should be begging for my job back, and I'm just going to forewarn them that it's everyone else who's going to be begging me for their job back."

"I'm going to hang out with these two smoking hotties and fly around the world."

"I have real fame. They have nothing. They have zero. They have that night and I will forget about them as the last image of them exits my beautiful home."

"I am battle-tested bayonets, bro."

"I'm 0-for-3 in marriage, but like in baseball, the scoreboard doesn't lie. Never has."

"Gnarly Gnarlingtons".

"I'm on a quest to claim absolute victory on every front."

"Change the channel. I dare you."

"I've got magic and I've got poetry at my fingertips."

"Let me just say this about The Goddesses, I don't believe the term is good enough, but when you're bound by terrestrial descriptions, you must use the best choice available."

"My path is now clear ... Defeat is not an option!"

"I'm underpaid right now."

"Because I'm me."

"I dare you to keep up with me."

"You've been warned, dude. Bring it."

"Touch my children and I will eat your hands off your arms."

"Funny how sleep rhymes with sheep."

"Go back to the troll hole where you came from."

"Resentments are the rocket fuel that lives in the tip of my sabre."

“The Mars research has advanced my life in no capacity. How has it helped your life? Looks like Arizona, tastes like chicken. Billions of dollars. I think we should just blow it up and sniff it as it drifts past.”

"It was so gnarly I can't remember."

"I don't live in the middle anymore, that's where you get embarrassed in front of the prom queen."

"We're shaking the tree. We're shaking all the trees."

"I'm not recovering like some p**sy."

"I'm a peaceful man with bad intentions."

"I've been blessed with a new brain."

"I embarrassed him in front of his children and the world."

"Watch me bury you."

"I'm going to win every moment."

"There's a new sheriff in town, and he has an army of assassins."

"There have to be more important things going on in the world than my past."

"All these words just sound cool together, they come from my grand wizard master."

"They can't hang with me, their bones would melt like wax."

"Just sit back and enjoy the show."