1.
What the world needs is more geniuses with humility, there are so few of us left.
Quote by Oscar Levant
6 points - added 13 years ago by xeniam -
2.
I took a speed reading course and read 'war and peace'in 20 min.. It involves Russia.
Quote by Woody Allen
5 points - added 13 years ago by xeniam -
3.
I don't mind what Congress does, as long as they don't do it in the streets and frighten the horses.
Quote by Victor Hugo
5 points - added 13 years ago by xeniam -
4.
All men are frauds. The only difference between them is that some admit it. I myself deny it.
Quote by H.L. Mencken
5 points - added 13 years ago by xeniam -
5.
There's so much comedy on television. Does that cause comedy in the streets?
Quote by Dick Cavett
5 points - added 13 years ago by xeniam -
6.
There are many who dared not kill themselves for fear of what the neighbors will say.
Quote by Cyril Connelly
5 points - added 13 years ago by xeniam -
7.
Laughing at our mistakes can lengthen our own life. Laughing at someone else's can shorten it.
Quote by Cullen Hightower
5 points - added 13 years ago by xeniam -
8.
When I was a boy I was told that anybody could become president. Now I'm beginning to believe it.
Quote by Clarence Darrow
5 points - added 13 years ago by xeniam -
9.
If the lessons of history teach us anything it is that nobody learns the lessons that history teaches us.
Quote by Anon
5 points - added 13 years ago by xeniam -
10.
If there are no stupid questions, then what kind of questions do stupid people ask? Do they get smart just in time to ask questions?
Quote by Scott Adams
5 points - added 13 years ago by xeniam -
11.
We've heard that a million monkeys at a million keyboards could produce the complete works of Shakespear: now, thanks to the internet, we know that is not true.
Quote by Robert Wilensky
5 points - added 13 years ago by xeniam -
12.
I quit therapy because my analyst was trying to help me behind my back.
Quote by Richard Lewis
5 points - added 13 years ago by xeniam -
13.
Sometimes I worry about being a success in a mediocre world.
Quote by Lily Tomlin
5 points - added 13 years ago by xeniam -
14.
My pessimism extends to the point of even suspecting the sincerity of the pessimists.
Quote by Jean Rostand
5 points - added 13 years ago by xeniam -
15.
Just the fact that some geniuses were laughed at does not imply that all who are laughed at are geniuses. They laughed at Columbus, they laughed at Fulton, they laughed at the wright brothers. But they also laughed at Bozo the clown.
Quote by Carl Sagan
5 points - added 13 years ago by xeniam -
16.
Those who believe in telekinetic's, raise my hand.
Quote by Kurt Vonnegut
5 points - added 13 years ago by xeniam -
17.
When you go into court you are putting your fate into the hands of twelve people who weren't smart enough to get out of jury duty.
Quote by Norm Crosby
5 points - added 13 years ago by xeniam -
18.
I've gone into hundreds of [fortune-tellers parlors], and have been told thousands of things, but no body ever told me I was a police woman getting ready to arrest her.
Quote by New York City Detective
5 points - added 13 years ago by xeniam -
19.
Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.
Quote by Oscar Wilde
5 points - added 13 years ago by xeniam -
20.
Before I got married I had six theories about bringing up children; now I have six children and no theories.
Quote by John Wilmot
5 points - added 13 years ago by xeniam -
ShareRanks is about ranking things that are top, most, greatest, or even worst in all categories.
Use arrows to rank one item in Top funny quotes vs another.
Use arrows to rank one item in Top funny quotes vs another.
Top 10 Top funny quotes are especially marked